Desiring Intimacy with Christ: When God is Your First Affection
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Lately, God has been dealing with me about my affections.
I enjoy going to church, writing about God to encourage people, and letting my life be an example of His love.
But, I’ve come to realize that God doesn’t just want my heart or my time.
He wants my desires, too.
Lately, the Lord has been teaching me that the best way to examine my desires is to reflect on my mindset.
I reflect on where my thoughts are by asking myself questions like:
Where is my focus?
Am I giving more attention to anything other than God?
Do I desire God in the same way that I used to?
Do my priorities line up with His perspective? (Am I making something more or less of a urgency than He is?)
Have I shown a lack of commitment to His instructions?… Or have I over committed to something (or someone) to the point where my commitment has become an idol?
Yes, these are pretty tough questions to ask yourself.
However, when you honestly answer them, you’ll find yourself in a more peaceful place in your relationship with Jesus.
I’ve had moments where I’ve allowed my serving to distract me from God’s righteousness (His right way of serving, accomplishing tasks, and getting things done).
I am 32 years old.
Unfortunately I'm just coming to a place in my life where I’m learning that perfectionism is not a positive character trait.
If you’re like me, you grew up feeling rejected and lonely.
Consequently, you may have battled with perfectionism for most of your life.
People with these types of childhoods tend to use perfectionism as a way to avoid being rejected by others.
Their aim is to use perfectionism to earn the affection of those around them.
The downside to this reality comes down to two main points:
There’s no way you can ever entirely please everyone around you because we all come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives.
If you’re like me, you become so wrapped up in pleasing everyone around you that you let your good works distract you.
You become so hungry to help everyone that you lose your hunger for God.
Fortunately, God’s love is not something we have to earn.
Likewise, our affections for Him aren’t something we have to manufacture, conjure up, or work hard to achieve.
If reading this blog reminds you that there’s a deeper hunger for God that you’ve lost, please don’t beat yourself up.
Also, don’t go trying to ‘work’ really hard to earn His affection.
Instead, just repent, change your mindset, and ask Him for help with the process.
Prayer to renew your hunger:
“Lord, I’m so grateful that I don’t have to earn your love. I’m thankful for you showing me that I’ve lost my affection for you. Lord, I am distracted.
Help me not to use my serving as a way to neglect my time with you. Help me to get back to my first love. Help me to let go of perfectionism and people pleasing so that you can always be my first love. In Jesus’ name… Amen.”
Scriptures to ponder:
Revelation 2: 2-5, NKJV
“I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles
and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become
weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works…”
Luke 10: 38-42, KJV
Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
Love,
